Friday, January 8, 2010

What a Beginning

It’s a tough month, a tough week. It’s testing me in every imaginable way in different aspects. It’s testing my emotional strength which doesn’t happen to be at its highest point. It’s testing my wishes and dream as if I am being shown: is that what I REALLY want? Will I know what to do with it? Am I where I am supposed to be?

Because my emotional side is getting out of control, I have to appeal to my senses. To step aside and look at everything as if it’s not even me – but someone else. So turning off me emotions for a minute, I can clearly see that things got overheated. I will last longer if I don’t stick up my head for a while. Things need to cool down for me to clearly assess the situation and figure out what to do next.

So for now I will have to use the approach that always helped me when things got out of control and none of my actions could change anything. I am turning myself off. I become invisible, a walking-but barely talking manikin, a surface with no filling. I will send my feelings on emotional break – to the most distant non-existent meadow, where soft green grass and a sweet aroma of field flowers will heal my soul. I will come back when it’s time, stronger and wiser.

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