Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Making Decisions for Others

I happen to have a good healthy common sense present in most situations. I tend to think clearly when other people panic or get carried away by emotions. So little by little I learnt to take charge and make decisions for others, convinced that I am doing them a big favor since they cannot make the right decisions for themselves.
But lately I’ve been contemplating if I have the right to tell others what to do. I know my opinion matters and they agree with me most of the time. The problem is they already have a decision, even though they partially realize they are making a mistake, they are pretty determined that something will still come out of it – so why not risk it? They will listen to me politely and thank me for the advice, or they will try to contradict me with their vision of things, - regardless they will take the step they initially planned to take. I will be left suffering from the world’s disharmony and my failed attempt to bring things to order.

First I was convinced that because I have this super-inflated common sense and strong logic, it’s my destiny to protect people around by giving them a good advice. Now I am not so sure. Maybe they need to have this sort of experience when they screw up, learn their lesson and move on. Maybe they don’t need protection from pain, because pain is also a part of their life, which they intend to live to the fullest. And besides I cannot be around all the time to make decisions for them, so they will have to learn the process, getting a few bumps along the way. But most importantly, what if they are right, and I am wrong? I will use all my skills to persuade them to take the wrong path and will be held responsible?

So for a time being, I will be away from my decision-making desk, of course you can always leave me a message, but I will take my time to consider whether I should get back to you…

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