Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Why We Need Success Even Where We Don't Need It

I've had a job interview that went very positively for me. In fact, they were so excited about me being such a good match for the job, they were all ready to give me an offer. The only problem was that I didn't want it. I was saved from the final step, meeting with the CEO, by the fact that he stepped out for an unplanned meeting with a client. As I was leaving the building I saw him entering through another door and felt like a Cinderella, making her escape.
Yet I felt bitter-sweet relieved. Yes, it's somewhat of a disappointment when you get something good you didn't really ask or have no good use for. And it can be real tricky to tell the right from the wrong in the context of your personal preferences. But I needed it to go well for me as a testament to my abilities, so that I could tell "you got it!" to my self-esteem and raise my standards. If I can pass this interview, I can do it again for my dream job.
Life gives us these occasional freebies for a reason. We just can't always guess which one it is each time. To show us that we are on the right track? Or that there's always hope, it's just taking longer sometimes to achieve what we truly want? To prepare us for the right occasion so that we didn't blow our chances when it finally arrived?
What I know is today I felt present and more awake than I did in a long time. I felt like my life was actually happening and not just in my head,  I moved from the shielding shadows and, though briefly, played the lead role. It felt good to be back.  

Thursday, November 1, 2012

A New Day Will Always Come

How fragile is our comfort. Maybe my mom is right after all and we should always be prepared for the worst: train our bodies for deprivation, be used to the prolonged feeling of hunger, to the absence of basic necessities. It should always be in the back of our minds that many of the luxuries we have and frequently take for granted can vanish in a blink of an eye.
We depend on our possessions and only losing them makes it clear that we are incapable of finding comfort elsewhere. We need our things to be happy. We each build a small private universe around our possessions and as we see them go, we can't help the feeling of being sucked into a black hole. Kids are so different from us in that sense. They can still be overpowered by joy even under the worst of circumstances. Kids can spot and enjoy countless things of interest even in the deteriorated reality; they will invent a fun game and play it among the rubble.
So how do we adjust to the feeling of loss, to unexpected hardships and unplanned turns of events? Should we try to restore normalcy at all costs, get things to the way they were so that we could blissfully forget the dire times and move on? Or maybe it's wise to dwell on the experience, to seek some deeper meaning and adjust the mindset so that it could encompass these new unfortunate possibilities. Appreciate what we have, but above all appreciate life and value things that aren't as easy to lose: our body in good health and working condition, our head that has enough knowledge to find a way out of any situation and our heart, that finds joy where we didn't look before, too busy multiplying and holding on to our possessions.

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