Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Why We Need Success Even Where We Don't Need It

I've had a job interview that went very positively for me. In fact, they were so excited about me being such a good match for the job, they were all ready to give me an offer. The only problem was that I didn't want it. I was saved from the final step, meeting with the CEO, by the fact that he stepped out for an unplanned meeting with a client. As I was leaving the building I saw him entering through another door and felt like a Cinderella, making her escape.
Yet I felt bitter-sweet relieved. Yes, it's somewhat of a disappointment when you get something good you didn't really ask or have no good use for. And it can be real tricky to tell the right from the wrong in the context of your personal preferences. But I needed it to go well for me as a testament to my abilities, so that I could tell "you got it!" to my self-esteem and raise my standards. If I can pass this interview, I can do it again for my dream job.
Life gives us these occasional freebies for a reason. We just can't always guess which one it is each time. To show us that we are on the right track? Or that there's always hope, it's just taking longer sometimes to achieve what we truly want? To prepare us for the right occasion so that we didn't blow our chances when it finally arrived?
What I know is today I felt present and more awake than I did in a long time. I felt like my life was actually happening and not just in my head,  I moved from the shielding shadows and, though briefly, played the lead role. It felt good to be back.  

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