I've had a
job interview that went very positively for me. In fact, they were so excited
about me being such a good match for the job, they were all ready to give me
an offer. The only problem was that I didn't want it. I was saved from the
final step, meeting with the CEO, by the fact that he stepped out for an
unplanned meeting with a client. As I was leaving the building I saw him
entering through another door and felt like a Cinderella, making her escape.
Yet I felt
bitter-sweet relieved. Yes, it's somewhat of a disappointment when you get
something good you didn't really ask or have no good use for. And it can be
real tricky to tell the right from the wrong in the context of your personal
preferences. But I needed it to go well for me as a testament to my abilities,
so that I could tell "you got it!" to my self-esteem and raise my
standards. If I can pass this interview, I can do it again for my dream job.
Life gives
us these occasional freebies for a reason. We just can't always guess which one
it is each time. To show us that we are on the right track? Or that there's
always hope, it's just taking longer sometimes to achieve what we truly want?
To prepare us for the right occasion so that we didn't blow our chances when it
finally arrived?
What I know
is today I felt present and more awake than I did in a long time. I felt like
my life was actually happening and not just in my head, I moved from the shielding shadows and,
though briefly, played the lead role. It felt good to be back.
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