Monday, December 28, 2009

Time to Let Go

When you have to let go of something that you want to hold on to, that you want to be yours… When you have to do the only possible RIGHT thing… Your mind gives you a hundred reasons why to do so. But your heart gives your just one reason not to: that’s NOT what I want it says. There are social norms we have to go by, there are moral duties; you proved the case to yourself over and over, you promised to stick with the decision. Then why are you such an emotional wreck right now?

We cannot help feeling attached sometimes and what’s wrong with that? It doesn’t hurt anyone but you, right? The problem is you don’t know where it stops. The further you go, the worse the ending is going to be. From little scratch it goes to an open bleeding wound that nothing seems to heal.

We are done with the matter; we put it in a heavy chest, lock it and throw away the key for good. But one unexpected word – and somehow you are holding the key again, ready to revive the buried secret.

I made my list of reasons. I memorized it. I rehearsed every word I should or shouldn’t say. I followed the protocol. I let go. But it keeps coming back and I don’t know if I am strong enough to keep letting it go so many more times.

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