Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It’s Real

All people are pretending. They are pretending to be someone else: someone better, someone worse, or simply someone totally different. They pretend they like you to please you. Just in case they will need you in the future even though the probability is too small. They pretend they want to spend time with you just because that’s the only option they currently have, unless they prefer loneliness which they don’t. So living in the world where everyone is wearing masks pushes you to have a set of masks too. You become a master of fake smiles, a small talk pro; you learn to adjust, conform, and disengage.

But then someone comes alone who is sincere about their feelings. Someone who looks right through you and sees things inside that even you are unaware of. And moreover – he likes what he sees, he likes YOU! Without any efforts from your side… That’s when it begins to overpower you with a range of mixed emotions. You feel grateful for this kind of recognition, for attention and admiration. You feel vulnerable because someone was able to penetrate through your disguise and see the things you normally don’t allow to be seen. You feel flattered, you feel beautiful.

But then comes the biggest yet the most dangerous feeling – the feeling of power. One gaze – and he is your slave forever. He likes you not because he knows you – he feels you, which makes him fatally attached. He breaks through the walls to get inside your world just to find he is unable to get out. He is a bird trapped in a cage – it’s up to you whether to have mercy and let him go or to keep him trapped forever. Can you be strong enough to part with this kind of power?

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