What Truth is True?

A human soul must be the most complicated and complex phenomenon on Earth. Years of mistakes and erroneous decisions may pass before we find ourselves on the right track of finding our true meaning in life. Sometimes we may get a hint and start moving in the right direction, but many times we are not even close so we keep bumping into the walls or give up all together.

But as we try to unravel this most important puzzle of our lives and determine the purpose of our existence, we must support this existence because a body-to-feed is attached to this mysterious soul of ours. So we work hard, then we work harder, then we get dissolved in this whole work-pay-bills-plan-the-future routine. There’s no time to be wasted on philosophy – we talk career opportunities, innovative technologies, endless new gadgets and information overload. We turn into robots. We watch movies and read books that require no thinking, their primitive ideas are spread evenly onto our brains as cream cheese on a stale bagel. These no-brainer movies and shows are produced for our sheer amusement and barely ever contain a single solid idea to contemplate about. And there’s a reason to it: we are too busy with our work and too lazy because of all the new technology.

Sometimes it terrifies me to see how the evolution oversimplifies a human nature. There is so much to us – we are all multi-faceted individuals, so unique, each with their own set of talents and skills. But all the uniqueness gets pushed back because we need to keep up with the ever-accelerating pace of life. I miss the time of great movies and amazing books, when one single phrase would suddenly resonate inside of you, shake your whole world. Now I get frustrated that book after book I attempt to enjoy fail to stir any kind of emotion in me – as if someone has chewed the food before placing it in your mouth and all you have to do now is just swallow it. I miss ideas behind the words, searching some hidden meaning, solving riddles, making discoveries. Each morning when on a train I stare at meaningless faces and try to understand why is it that we should give up on living and start existing; why there’s no fire in the faded eyes…

There’s so much good in me that’s dying to come out yet I feel like an actor without the stage and the audience. This need to find an external expression to my inner world is reflected in the clothes I wear, the words I choose, the blogs I comment on. I don’t want to suppress my personality, I don’t want to escape my delusional world because as made up as it seems, it is still more real than the robotic reality surrounding me.I am filled with a whirlwood of emotions and daring ideas, and who said it's worse than to feel nothing. I want to celebrate every day of a meaningful existence, every shade of emotion, every unrealistic dream and every discovery I make about the complex phenomenon of my own human soul.