Monday, July 16, 2012

Living is Risky, Not Living is Wasteful

“If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.” —Neil Gaiman

The biggest mistake in the way I lived was overusing my improved ability to turn my back to the wind, whatever side it was blowing from. My protective back would hide me for all the bad, worrisome, annoying and heartbreaking that life sent my way. All I had to do was stay alert and rotate my position in anticipation of the next blow so that by the time it hit me I could no longer see or experience it at its full force. Like a snail hides inside its shell at the first sign of danger.

The only problem with this approach to life is that with time more and more events and interactions get classified as "danger". And even when common sense told me there was nothing to be afraid of, I still chose to hide just in case. To say that I was missing out would be an understatement. I existed in such a narrow world, all fenced up against real life, a slave to my assumptions which weren't necessarily true.

All highly-sensitive people are extremely protective of their delicate emotional structure. But avoiding excessive experiential stimulation and limiting any situations that can stir some unnecessary feelings will inevitably lead to an internal conflict, when you realize how much you crave life but too afraid to live it.

I'm taking baby steps in reversing this erroneous way of thinking. I'm taking risks by opening up and reaching out. I re-learn to make eye contact and be the one to initiate a conversation. I'm ready to get burned but sometimes our burns and scars are the best testament to the fact that WE LIVED.

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