Maybe I
deserve better... The mere thought suggests a whole wonderful rich world that
exists out there, that I never dared to claim. Up till now I was pretty
confident that life was generous enough to me and I collected a lot of ripe
fruit into my gifts-from-life basket. Or maybe I busted my ass to fill up that
basket. The details don't really matter at this point, what counts is that I
should have the sufficient amount of happiness material to just sit back and enjoy
it all. Yet it doesn't work that way. We are wired to hoard up our accumulated
happiness and then venture out for more.
I have to
admit I set up my own limitations. So today I decided to do something nice for
myself and got a treat of delicious Pinkberry frozen yogurt. I carefully picked the flavors I liked and
then asked how many toppings I could have. The lady at the counter said
somewhat hesitant - "for this size cup - three toppings". I ended up
getting just two because I was afraid that asking for three is just too much.
Almost as if subconsciously I quickly assessed myself and determined that I'm
only worthy two toppings. And then I realized that it's exactly what I do with
my life: I go for happiness, but I just don't go all the way. I hold back
limiting my desires and advances by the golden rule of moderation. If I get some
of what I want, wanting more is selfish. But is it really? I deserve to
at least consider possibilities my old cautious self would decline by instinct.
That's not for me, let others do it I used to think.
What if I change the perspective. What if I start believing that wanting more is not only okay, it's what I actually deserve. I'm worth having more caring people in my life, more adventure, more fun, more knowledge, more dreams. If the Universe offers its gifts in abundance, do they remain unclaimed thanks to the "humble" individuals like myself, who opt for a smaller share? I don't mean to become greedy where you suffer about not having enough without ever enjoying and feeling grateful for what you already have. I just don't want to feed on the crumbs as the Universe is waiting all puzzled about when I will come for the main meal. It's okay to upsize, to get all the toppings you are eligible for, to try more favors. Sometimes "more" is all about a healthier self-esteem, about enriching your life once you start believing that your capacity is limitless. For now I will move the mark a little higher and watch more happiness pour in to the newly available space.
What if I change the perspective. What if I start believing that wanting more is not only okay, it's what I actually deserve. I'm worth having more caring people in my life, more adventure, more fun, more knowledge, more dreams. If the Universe offers its gifts in abundance, do they remain unclaimed thanks to the "humble" individuals like myself, who opt for a smaller share? I don't mean to become greedy where you suffer about not having enough without ever enjoying and feeling grateful for what you already have. I just don't want to feed on the crumbs as the Universe is waiting all puzzled about when I will come for the main meal. It's okay to upsize, to get all the toppings you are eligible for, to try more favors. Sometimes "more" is all about a healthier self-esteem, about enriching your life once you start believing that your capacity is limitless. For now I will move the mark a little higher and watch more happiness pour in to the newly available space.
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