What is my
average day like? It's a constant struggle to keep up - with time, my own
demands to myself, my to-do lists with half the items remaining unchecked at
the end of the day. And then there's this buzzing irritation, annoyance that is
always in the background: why cannot I just live instead of being in a state of
preparation for living?
Sometimes I
believe that if only I got non-important things out of the way, I could focus on
things that matter, where my undivided attention should be. But before I get to
that matter of importance, I need to make sure nothing will distract me: my
house is clean, the meals are cooked, the laundry is done and clothes are put away.
It's just that once I finish the full cycle of house work, the new one begins
almost right away. All I really get in between is a couple of hours, when I'm
too tired to tend to serious things and would rather watch a light-mood
movie.
So what is
the solution to end my daily race, to dig out some time for myself from a pile
of never-ending chores? Up to this point all my to-do lists and time-management
plans have failed simply because I run out of time before I run out of things
to do. Maybe the only true solution is to start the day with that one thing,
that I believe to be the most important. Even if it's something
trivial like finishing a book. Or something more productive such as creating a
photo book about our recent trip. And
then maybe that feeling of satisfaction, the pride that I actually got
something accomplished will serve as the fuel to get everything else done.
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