Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Rush

I’m getting tired of having issues with Time. For some reason it got worse the past couple of weeks: I constantly feel like time is slipping through my fingers, turns into smoke and evaporates before I made good use of it. I used to be able to squeeze so much into each day with proper planning, but somehow the tactic has been failing me. Or I would feel that my days get overstuffed and there isn’t a single minute left to hibernate, process and shelve my thoughts to vacate space for newcomers.

I hope it’s some sharp turn that the Universe is taking right now, which makes time contract. And maybe we will get back on track soon when time will feel like its old self again and grant us back our taken away pleasures. Maybe long summer days will bring relief too by adding an extra hour of day light, or maybe I will learn to get by on less sleep (oh, how I envy all those who can operate on 6 hours of it!)

For now I feel rushed; every day is a race to accomplish that bare minimum that will let me sleep peacefully knowing that I didn’t put it off till tomorrow, which would double my daily load, throw me behind. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today! Nothing turns me off more than seeing dirty dishes in the sink first thing in the morning – a rather unpleasant hello from yesterday. So I rush to avoid any half-forgotten surprises in the morning, I rush to finish, check things off the list, fulfill the plan and draw a new one. I rush to spend time with my son, because he is growing up so fast. I rush to read through each page of the book, because there are too many books I want to read. I rush to bed every night or next day will be lost to recovery from lack of sleep. And I rush to have some time to myself, to organize thoughts and recharge. I rush through cooking dinner because I can’t stand the process. And I rush through the walk on the beach because there’s a million things to do at home.

Maybe this weekend, just for one day, I will hide my watch, turn off my cell and computer, ignore the dust on the furniture, eat sandwiches for dinner and have all the time in the world to do …nothing.

1 comment:

  1. There are days when I feel like that too, Aysel. But I'm learning to let go and Be...Hugs..


inside out - Free Blogger Templates, Free Wordpress Themes - by Templates para novo blogger HD TV Watch Shows Online. Unblock through myspace proxy unblock, Songs by Christian Guitar Chords